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Chris Sherbak
.:::. .::...:..
Chris Sherbak [userpic]
Cha cha cha ... changes...

hmmm... so many changes... some good, some bad (and what is a bad change, really, but and ill conceived path taken without full knowledge...?)

I want to say to my journal (and indirectly to Alex) that I have not been keeping up with lj's... I kidded to bingo last night in game (after being caught >>so<< unawares and bringing new meaning to the word "clueless") about "guess I gotta keep up with that LJ sh*t, eh?" (He chuckled most supportively.) Put some nice comtemplative spin on my >>own<< delusions about community and support and friends... etc. etc. etc.

I'm very sorry Alex that I did not provide more support - not that I would have done much different I suppose, as Game Mechanics prevented me (D*mn no sow! D*mn no tracking!). All in all, I think it turned out best with you and Bingo on the hill Somewhere in Everfrost ("Uh, Doaman, I think that might be a personal name for the spot...don't think /shout's and /ooc's are gonna find it." Fine effort tho - he's a Pally thru and thru../hug Linadin) bawling your eyes out. I have learned that having a Good Cry is often a Good Thing and that there really >>is<< a thing called "Cry of Happiness"... (Thanks Ray for the former and Jack for the latter lessons.) For me it was a point of honor to at least be online while you said your goodbyes, and being in zone was just some frosting on the cake (for me... the Gods themselves (and you I suppose) only know if you found it annoying.)

I will also say that I have personally (mostly) come to terms with these things thru the lens of my personal faith - hard to get worked up over Yet Another Death/Passing/Changing (however personally painful/tragic/unfair/unjust) when held up against the Endless Cycles of Our Days (as they say in "Pacific Overtures") or (more Paganly) the Wheel of the Year and the Age of the Universe.

But perhaps that's the Point of It All, eh? Our mayfly existance against the Larger Cycles of the Gods, and the Even Larger Cycles of the Great Cycle of the Universe... however we conceive of Them... Remember there are more real numbers between 0 and 1 than there are counting or even rational numbers. Contemplating Infinities (and the infinity of Infinities) certainly gives you a chance to (try to) catch a glimpse of the shadow on the cave wall we can only call the Infinity of Infinties. (Way too much reading of Greek Philosophy lately.) Sigh...

All that said... I will miss Rugen, even tho I know a piece of Rugen will always be >>in<< Alex... or perhaps a little piece of Alex >>was<< Rugen... or both? Who can say? I just know that I will miss them both - or more properly, the duality that was EQ/Rugen and RL/Alex together interacting (disassociated?) in the same Universe we cohabit. For the moment, they have now moved to (what we IE types call) the Hall of Heroes. Well, at least the entity known as Rugen has... but his memory lives on in my mind (and countless others no doubt more strongly/powerfully/meaningfully.)

So I turn my attentions to Who Has Been Left Behind... :) As I have no doubt said a million times already, I am Here For You (as has been said so tritely throughout the 80's and beyond... sigh... but not so tritely now.) We have not been close, but our lives had have some odd interactions, yea, odd even for me. (Just imagine what my life would be if I had as many avatars in RL as I do in EQ!) Make of the offer what you will, but you are now certainly on my /friends list, and will most certainly get any support you wish to ask for and I can honorably provide.

/doability 1 Mathir quaffs a Dwarven Stout....


Rugen is Dead! Long Live Rugen!

Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative

Damn, I wish I didn't have to take a hiatus from playing. I had a ton of fun playing when I did with you and the others. Thanks a ton.

furf (piel)