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Chris Sherbak
.:::. .::...:..
Chris Sherbak [userpic]
So I read this, and thought of someone... but I can't remember who exactly...

The Moose Song

When I was a young lad I used to like girls,
I'd play with their corsets and fondle their curls.
'Till one day, she ran off with a Scotsman named Bruce,
Now you'd never get treated that way by a moose.

Moose, moose, I likes a moose,
I've never had anything quite like a moose.
I've had lots of lovers, my life has been loose,
But I've never had anything quite like a moose.

Now when I'm in need of a very good lay,
I go to my closet and get me some hay.
I go to my window and spread it around.
'Cause moose always come when there's hay on the ground.

Gorillas are all right on Saturday night,
Lions and tigers, they puts up a fight.
But it's just not the same when you slam your caboose,
As the feeling you get when you humps with a moose.

I've done it with beasties with long flowing hair,
I'd do it with snakes if their fangs were not there.
I've done it with walrus, a monkey, and goose,
But it's just not the same when you screw with a moose.

I've tried many beasties on land or on sea
I've even tried hump-backs that humped back on me!
Sharks are quite good, tho they're hard to pull loose
But on dry land there is nothing quite like a moose.

Woodchucks are all right, except that they bite
And foxes and rabbits won't last throught the night!
Cows would be fun, but they're hard to seduce,
But you never need worry should you find a moose.

Step in my study, and trophies you'll find;
A black striped tiget and scruffy maned lion.
You'll know the elephant by his ivory tooth,
And the one that's a-winking, you know is the moose.

The lion succumbed to a thirty-ought-six,
Machine guns and tigers, I've proved do not mix.
The elephant fell by a bomb with a fuse,
But I won't tell a soul how I did in the moose.

I've found many women attracted to me.
A few of them have had me over for tea.
Some say that they love me when they're feeling loose,
But I'd trade the world's women for one lovely moose!

The good Lord made Adam, and then he made Eve.
Said He: "If you sin now, Ill ask you to leave."
They left not because of Eve's forbidden fruit,
But 'cause Adam decided the moose there were cute.

The English are said to like boars who've had corn.
The Celtics just dream of the young Unicorn.
The German's, it's said, just need leather and rope,
But give me a moose and I'll no longer mope.

Now I've broken the laws in this God-awful state.
They've put me in prison and locked up the gate.
They say that tomorrow I'll swing from a noose
But my last night I'll spend with a good sexy moose.

Next morning the Governor's word reached my ears,
"We've commuted your sentence to ninety nine years!"
"You won't get parole, not a five minute's truce,
And your friend goes to Sing-Sing, he's so big-a-moose!"

Now that I'm old and advanced in my years,
I look back on my life and shed me no tears.
As I sit in my chair with my glass of Mateuse,
Playing Hide-The-Salami with Melba the Moose.


Truer words have never been sung.


good one! :)

LOL...dear, where on Earth did you find this?